It’s weird how easy it is for people to get pissed at something they claimed not to be bothered about huh…?

I salute the person who created this blogging thingy la… It really shows how many kay-pohs there are in the world, especially Singapore.… I really don’t mind hearing or being criticized by a friend but from someone I do not know… That’s so surprising…

I must admit, being Singaporean (part of my nature), I am also very kay-poh la. But no matter how kay-poh I am when I know someone has blogged about me, I wouldn’t do anything stupid la… like react especially with anger. Cos it’s embarrassing la… worst still when I react and it has nothing to do with me at all…

Let’s see what I shall blog today…

Oh I know!!!!

I shall blog about 2 hypothethical persons would react to my blog dated 8 December 2008.

Hypo Person 1:-

Assuming this person made 3 comments on my blog.

He trash talked me blah blah blah said that I’ve got no originality blah blah blah and he’s talking trash about my baby blah blah blah practically cursing it. So indulge me please, how much different would he be from me? Imagine this (NOTE: Merely an hypothetical situation):-

1.                   He’s male (An assumption.);

2.                   He’s 38 years old (again an assumption); and

3.                   He’s been bearing a grudge against me for the past 5 years (again an assumption).

Umm… 38 years old and bearing a grudge against me for 5 years? Seriously…? Y in the world would a 38 year old MAN bear a grudge against a person what more a woman. Someone she doesn’t know….

Reality

If this is the case, I must have done something really really bad huh?? I’m truly apologetic than. Really…

Hypo Person 2:-

1.                   With regard to the hypo person let’s say she wasn’t happy about my blog and I’m curious why she read the blog when she didn’t have too, didn’t need to actually. Assume that she confronted my boyfriend than me…  Anyways, I’m adult enough to accept what people say about me. So whatever it is let’s just assume this hypo person has got everything off her chest.

2.                   Let’s say this hypo person accused me of fucking around and getting knocked-up not by my boyfriend. Further, she threatened me la… She’d show me her true colours if Zander wasn’t Shaun’s… Oh please dear GOD… Do I have to report to her now EACH TIME WE FUCK??!!??

3.                   Let’s also assume that family has complained to her about me blah blah blah. Uhh… hello… Why am I still in the picture if I am such a horrible person…??? 3 years ready lei…

4.                   Again we assume, that she doesn’t come to the house anymore cos I gave her the cold shoulder. But she comes to the house at 3am am I supposed to stay up & wait for her majesty? Than nevermind that, assume she said ‘’Oh the house is not your house it’s Auntie Linda’s and Uncle Paul’s house so just to piss you off royally I will come to the house more often cos they are my family and I’ve known them longer.” Oh ok la… winz lor…. I should stop her because…?

5.                   let’s assume a last time that she said something about karma blah blah blah. So I said ok la… let karma come get me…

Really… how much worst can my life be? I’ve been said to break an engagement up (when I met Shaun), ruined relationships (when I met Shaun) blah blah blah I’ve been accused of being a whore, I’ve been accused of being ignorant (who hasn’t??), I’ve been accused of being pretentious (again who hasn’t??). So what else can karma bring my way?

Always I hope these hypothetical 2 persons would be pround and glad with themselves that they’ve cursed me and my unborn child.

P.S:      I did not intend for this to be hurtful to anyone. I didn’t mean it to be rude either. PLEAE TAKE NOTE THAT THIS IS AN ASSUMPTION. HYPOTHTICAL THINGY!!! NOTHING MORE!!!!!

OMG!!! I CANNOT BELIEVE SOME PEOPLE LA…. REALLY GOT NO BLOODY SHAME…. PLEASE TAKE NOTE THAT THIS IS MY FREAKING BLOG (PLEASE SEE THE NAME. IT SAYS MYSTIQUE_FARLENE!! FARLENE!!!! THAT’S ME!!!!!) I’LL WRITE WHAT I BLOODY WANT!!!! DO NOT BE ANYMORE ANNOYING THAN YOU ALREADY ARE!!! IF YOU DON’T LIKE READING WHAT OTHER PPL PUT IN THEIR BLOGS DO NOT READ DO NOT BE SUCH A KAY-POH!!!!!!

I’m about 4 months & 2 weeks to-date. Time flies when u’re having fun huh…?

Doc confirmed that it’s a boy… highligted the kotek and all and i’m so very very grateful to GOD that it’s a boy. All my life i’ve always wanted a brother and i am so grateful now to be blessed with a son.

I shall name my son, De Silva Luqas Alexander. which means the Bright and Great Leader. He will be due sometime in late May/ early June 2009. I can’t wait to have him in my arms.

Well obviously only the ppl i really truly like will be the Godparents. Therefore the official godparents will be Shane (Shaun’s brother) and Angie (Shaun’s Aunt).

The unofficial God-dad is obviously my god-bro Kit. Although he seems to always be doing the disappearing act these days…

Should shane and/or angie not be able to be the GOD Parents, so be it… I’ll ask around for others to be god parents. BUT THERE IS A PERSON OR 2 WHO I KNOW WILL JUST DIE TO BE THE GOD PARENT OF SHAUN’S 1ST CHILD BUT NO!!!!!!!!!!! OVER MY FREAKING DEAD BODY!!!! SHE MAY BE IN SHAUN’S LIFE SO BE IT I CAN’T STOP THAT BUT I CAN STOP HER FROM BEING IN MY CHILD’S LIFE SO….. WHEN MY BABY COMES AND I FIND OUT THAT SHE EVEN DARED TO BREATHE MY BABY’S NAME, SO HELP ME GOD… Just stay out of my life ok…??

Anyways, Shaun & I are so excited to have the baby… I can’t believe that we got the cot and the pram and the play-pen all ready when Zander’s still 4 1/2 months away. We’ve got some really really cute clothes for him all ready to wear when he comes home. The cats are also excited and awaiting his arrival. You can tell really, Tigger’s always sleeping on my tummy and hugging it to sleep; Patches & Marmalade get very very protective of me when Tigger does try to climb onto my stomach (ever so gently so as not to hurt me).

Zander’s got his 1st football boots and teddy all ready from Grandmama.

I didn’t have the easiest 1st trimester and it’s was the most difficult either. I didn’t get morning sickess as often as i should have. I only got it if i didn’t watch my food/diet. Zander at 2 months (still in my tummy mind you) refused to let me keep down anything fried, greesy in short anything unhealthy. The only things that he did let me keep down were veggies and fish and fruits. That’s all. This baby is gonna come out all healthy and fussy with food just like his daddy. I just hope he continues to wanna eat veggies.

I can bearly wear anything without showing, but at the same time, I can still wear everything I own, I just can’t seem to zip it up. So i usually wear my jeans unbutton and pray that it stays up.

I know that Zander may be a little small now, but I think i definately felt him kick the other day. I was talking to him the other night and he must have either agreed with me or not, and I felt a thud from inside me.

Zander’s a fiesty little thing. The Doc did an ultrasound check on me when i was about 14weeks 5 days and you could see all Zander’s arms & legs formed and he was kicking and punching and he hated that there was something pushing against my tummy and just like me, he refused to sit still. Right there and than, I fell in love with my son. My Son… I still can’t believe i’m having one of them… it’s so hard to believe that i’m going to be a mummy… I nvr thought that i could ever have the opportunity to be a mummy after all the shit and bad stuff i’ve done before. I always thought that my punishment would be that i won’t be able to have a child but here I am…. going to have a baby in 4 1/2 months… and the feeling could not be any more wonderful.

I think i shall keep updating my blog so that when the time comes, Zander may get to read it and see how much i love him even before his arrival.

Will update journey of the 5th month shortly.

This is becoming really scarry. For a person who dislikes children a whole lot, it’s really wierd that I’m having this baby and more wierd that I’m looking forward to the birth of my first child.

I knew something was up when I was 2 weeks late. I can’t believe it when someone says that they didn’t know why their period didn’t come for 2 months… like duh… you fuck baby come!!

It’s really disgusting when everyone assumes that just because I am unmarried and pregnant it means that I would want to get married before the baby comes. But NO!!! Marriage has never been something that was on my mind. I never thought that it is something important. What the use of being in a marriage when it will only break down later. I’m a great relationship now yes we have our ups and down, I can’t help it, I’m freaking pregnant.

My child will have love from both parents (and grandparents) irregardless of whether we get married or not. we’ve been together for 3 yrs almost and we’re just happy the way with are. Further this way, it’s easier to walk out of the relationship without the mad crazy legal fees. Please I work in a freaking law firm, I know how much divorce fees cost these days… and it’s less stressful on the child. The baby bonus and maternity leave and all that shit are not important to me it’s really sad to see that there are so many people out there who are having children because of this same reason.

The 1st trimester has been a crazy one… I can’t eat junk food. I can’t eat fried food I CANNOT EAT ANYTHING!!! The only things that I can eat are Fruits, vegetables, fish and anything soupy. This baby better come out a health freak la… But thank GOD I’ve not asked for the dreaded DURIAN!!!

I don’t get morning sickness I just can’t eat junk food. It’s really sick. I’m hungry most of the time cos the only things that enter my mouth are health food and they are usually tasteless and too little.

Clothes do not fit me as well as they should. I’m getting bigger and bigger and bigger by the day. Currently only 11 weeks but I look like I’m freaking 4 months pregnant.

I really can’t wait to go get baby stuff. baby clothes, pram, cot anything and everything. I can’t wait to hold my baby in my arms and just enjoy his presence. I hope and pray that i can be a better mother than a certaain someone i know…

Till than.

I just cannot take it anymore… everything i do is wrong, everything my cats do are wrong… everything and anything  everyone else does is all o..BLOODY…k!

THIS IS THE SHITS!!! I really cannot take it already… I don’t understand, am that big a pushover that everyone somehow somewhere down the line always takes advantage of me?? I don’t get it… I try to be a good friend, sister, daughter, GF and be there for everyone, but than they all turn right back around and fuck me right up! and than there’s the family… always giving something or anything for something and anything in return. Than there’s the office. Just because i can’t say "NO" does not mean that i am happy doin it!

I don’t get it! the reason for being in a relationship with someone is because you like being with the person, security and just at peace with yourself and with the other person. when u accept each other’s imprefections. since when have i become so judgmental towards my loved one??? I’ve no idea how or when i learnt this…

I can’t remember when was the last time someone hugged me to sleep (and sleep peacefully at that)? i can’t recall when was the last time someone just held me just cause and not cause they want something in return? and I don’t understand y everyone has to be so damn demanding?? "Oh u don’t wanna come stay with your parents so no more money for your degree?"; or "u didn’t show up at my wedding, so I’m pissed at you!"; "U’re staying with us, so u’d better do something in the house or cook and/or clean, when u wake up better say "good morning" and not "hi" or say "good night" before you go to bed i.e. be the fucking maid, or we will treat you like CRAP!" There were also friends who lied to me about being their god-damn guarantor for their housing loan just to FIND OUT THAT IT’S FOR THE FUCKING LOAN SHARKS!!! damn bitch!

NOTHING I DO IS GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANY OF YOU AND YOU CALL URSELVES MY FRIENDS!!

wanna know what else is funny?? I buy something nice for myself and I am questioned!?!?! what the fuck la?? I USE MY OWN DAMN EARNED MONEY DON’T FUCKING QUESTION ME LA AND WHAT I DO WITH THE FUCKING MONEY! AND I’LL DO WHAT THE FUCK I WANT WITH THE OLD FONE!

I REALLY CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!! so how do you find the words to say that it’s over?? really… HOW? Why is life so fucked up?!?

How do you deal with a person who puts 2 people together and than tries to break them up? She tries over and over and over again to break us up but nothing works and she continues to try. Where’s the logic? Here, I found out that she’s been in love with him for the LONGEST TIME…. cannot make it…. The whole world can see that she’s so in love with him…. The whole world knows that she’s making herself look like an idiot. It’s so pathetic…

When you love someone so much, you can’t possibly set them up with another? shit, if that was me, I’d keep him for myself and be happy to see him miserable and alone. I would never ever break up a relationship even if it kills me to see him happy with another? and you don’t go around telling people that his you’re brother… cos he’s soooooo NOT your brother… to make matters worst, she’s friends with my bf’s ex and she never liked my bf’s ex….?? Hello… that’s like lower than scum la… I never knew anyone can be that low… especially not a woman! I’ve met desperate women in my life but what do you call a woman like that??

I know she’s done this several times. Way before I was in the picture and now that I am in the pic. I know that I should just leave it be cos well, she’s just pathetic. But I’m not going to stand for it when I know that there’s some BITCH out there who’s trying to break up my relationship.

She’s the one who’s always there for him, always there…. She makes him that I don’t care about him… When I’m the only one who is brave enough to tell him the GOD DAMN TRUTH!!!

SO BITCH STOP BEING THE ONE WHO BRINGS HIM UP SO HIGH WHEN AT THE END OF THE DAY I AM THE ONE HE COMES TO WHEN HE’S SAD THAT HE DOESN’T GET WAT HE WANTS/WHEN HE DOESN’T MAKE IT. U DON’T HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT WHEN HE COMES HOME ALL SULKING FROM NOT GETTING WHAT HE WANTS, THANKS TO YOU! SO JUST LEAVE US THE HELL ALONG AND MIND YOUR OWN GOD DAMN BUSINESS! FINDYOURSELF YOUR OWN MAN AND LEAVE MY MAN ALONE! WE’RE FINE THE WAY WE ARE AND WE REALLY DON’T NEED PEOPLE LIKE YOU, WASTING OUR TIME, IN OUR LIVES!!

STAY AWAY FROM ME AND FROM MY MAN! HEED THIS ADVICE IF YOU KNOW WHAT’S BEST FOR YOU. HE KNOWS WHAT YOU’RE UP TO AND IF HE DOESN’T HE KNOWS NOW… JUST BECAUSE I AM KEEPING QUIET DOESN’T MEAN I DON’T KNOW, IT’S BECAUSE I RESPECT SHAUN TOO MUCH. REALLY STAY AWAY, BETTER STILL, DIE!

I love my life now and I wouldn’t change it if given a chance. Relationships all need hard work to make it work, having sick people in the picture doesn’t help, it only makes us stronger…

So what do you thk is more important, a marriage than a child or just having a baby and marriage later? I’m 30 in 2 years and I suddenly feel the urge to have a baby. Hubby feels the same way but work and studies just don’t go together. How am i going to have a baby, have to work and go to school at the same time? I bet i’d die before my baby can even say it’s first word.

But day in and day out, i just hope that I am pregnant. I really want a baby. I dunno if it’s because my biological clock ticking or maybe because, hubby’s going away for awhile… But I’ve been really emotional these past few month since I found out that Shanun’s gonna go away, for work. 8 months mind you.. How am i going to live without my hubby for 8 months? I reckon he thinks that I’ll do fine, but i know for a fact that i won’t do fine.

If this was like 4 years ago, i’d be the happiest person in town. I get to go out for drinks and dancing but I am not that person anymore. I just wanna be with my hubby. I am the happiest when I’m with him. (**bleah bleah** yeah i know that’s what you’re thinking but i cannot help it if i’m in love and you’re not….).

It’s 2 months before hubby leaves… I hope that he doesn’t go but I pray to the Lord everyday that Hubby lives his dream and that he keeps Hubby safe on his journey out at sea and that he comes home safely to me.

Life oh life oh life…

Still with my job… yes… and still coping with school and the year is almost coming to an end. An achievement for me I believe.

School.

I’ve met loads of people and I must say they are really an interesting bunch. Surprisingly, in less than a yr, we’ve got a bond. It really feels like school. Yes there’s competition and all… Everyone one wants to be the best that they can be. But it’s less demanding than I expected. My lecturer is the coolest person I’ve met. He’s "french moroccan" and he’s got a ponytail.

I love being in his classes especially when he lectures Criminal Law, one of my favourite subjects. He makes it really really interesting. He explains cases how they are meant to be explained. You’ll only know what it feels like if you sit in one of this crim law classes.

But the fact that I have to work during the day and study at night is really really exhausting. I dunno if I can take another 2 years of this. But hey, to get them PAPERS you’ve got to suffer for a bit to get the big bucks in the future. I mean get real, the only reason people upgrade themselves is so that they can have a better future ($$$$$ and lots of it!!!!). How long are you gonna depend on loved ones? After awhile, they’re gonna start thinking that you’re a major loser and all you do is stay at home (no offence to the "tai tais" and the housewives).

To a certain extent, I think I have matured a little. I missed the life I had, but I love the life I have now. I make my own money and I spend my own money. Nothing feels better than that!

So for now, I have to start thinking how to make more money?? Invesments, stocks…? I really dunno. So if there’s someone out there who’s reading this, I dunno y u are but ya… If you are reading this and you know about investments blah blah, gimme a hollar… I’m keen on listening.

I’ll update you when I’m a RICH AND FAMOUS LAWYER

till then….

Here I am sitting in Starbucks with my classmates doing nothing but discussioning Common Law. I have no idea what’s goin on and I am getting really really annoyed.

I can’t seem to understand anything that’s going on. But then again, maybe it’s just me who’s refusing to do anything.

I have no knowledge of Common Law and some of my classmates have no idea what it means either. And I feel that it’s really stressful when they can’t stick to a plan. There is no order to the discussion. There is no head no tail. Too much time is spent on discussing one point. THERE IS NO ORDER!!!

There needs to be a systematic mannner of conducting the discussion. I feel lost… I cannot take it….

I did something bad just a few days ago… I didn’t go for class on wed… If my mom eva finds out she’s gonna kill… But I’m just so tired i cannot take it. It’s even affecting work.

I’ve got to go to work, I’ve got to go to school, I’ve got to stay at home and be a good wife, I have to be a good mom and remember to feed and clean my kid… It’s just too damn bloody exhausting…

Help…?

Hey Kit, thks for your post man.. I really appreciate it bro.. U’re the bestest friend i’ve eva had… But see the thing is, u did school full time, so u had lots of time to study. I only have nights to study and too much material to read. But it’s thought that counts. I love ya too…